Your noisy neighbors are ruining your quality of life, so you want to get back at them. You’ve spoken to the offenders, written to them, and complained to the proper authorities about the problem, all to no avail. After three strikes, they’re out of chances, and you want revenge.
Before choosing to retaliate against your noisy neighbor, consider that, instead of fixing the problem, revenge may anger the noise-maker as well as other neighbors.
This article will take an in-depth look at ways to get back at your neighbor and, hopefully, avoid becoming the neighborhood outcast.
1. Take Your Neighbor to Small Claims Court
You can sue your noisy neighbor for money damages in small claims court, and it’s relatively easy. The procedures for filing with small claims courts can vary from state to state, so check with your local court for this information.
You will be required to ask the court for an exact amount in monetary damages, and while small claims judges can award you less money than you request, they cannot give you more. That is where the problem lies.
In many noise cases, it is difficult to prove actual monetary damage. If you spent money to soundproof your home, that is an expense you could claim. To better understand what damages are recoverable from a noisy neighbor in an area’s small claims court, consult a local lawyer.
2. Do Noisy Chores Early in the Morning
Try to figure out when your neighbor is home and enjoying some quiet time. Then schedule your noisiest chores for maximum disturbance.
Loud indoor chores for apartments and townhouses would include using the washer and dryer, moving furniture, and vacuuming.
I have never had a powerful vacuum that wasn’t a little noisy. So you don’t need a special one for noise. I suggest a machine that works on surfaces in every room in order to clean wherever it will aggravate the neighbor.
My favorite is the Oreck XL Commercial Vacuum Cleaner. It will beautifully clean your carpets, wood, laminate, and tile flooring, flatten to reach under your bed, and if you time it right, annoy your neighbor.
If you have a yard, mow the lawn or use a weed eater or leaf blower to rattle your neighbor’s quiet time. Any lawnmower you happen to have will do; however, an older gas-powered number is probably the loudest one that you can find.
When using a weed wacker, you’ll want to get as close to their property line as possible. The cordless, rather than wired, type of weed eater should make this easy as pie. Some leaf blowers offer a grinding function that will up the noise level.
3. Encourage Your Kids to Be Noisy
Let your kids give your neighbor a taste of his own medicine. Imagine the aggravation a dance party with loud music or an indoor wrestling match can cause in an apartment or townhouse. A raucous game of dodgeball or soccer can shatter the quiet outdoors.
Your child should be practicing their musical instrument every day to improve their skillset. Make sure they play in an area that ensures your neighbor gets the full serenade experience.
A band practicing in your home, garage, or yard might even drive a neighbor to surrender from the noise war. You can be the supportive parent who allows their kid’s band to practice at your home. If you don’t have children, you could invite a local kids’ band to practice at your home (I bet their parents would be thrilled).
Not enough noise yet? Think about the entire high school marching band and invite them over to practice in your front yard.
4. Let Your Dog Make Noise
Even quiet dogs can be encouraged to make noise. My dog rarely barks, but I have two great toys that the little terrier loves making noise with.
The Wobble Wag Giggle Ball emits a high-pitched giggle when shaken or rolled. My dog loves pushing and tossing and shaking this toy for endless hours of fun indoors or out, and she can get loud while doing it.
Most dogs, including mine, love treat balls. This type of toy slowly releases treats as your dog pushes it around, banging loudly into walls and furniture. Ruby wags her tail furiously as I fill the ball with her cookies. When I give it to her, she will keep playing even after the treats are gone, hoping some food will appear. The more frantic she becomes, the harder she pushes the toy, and the louder it bangs.
If your dog will bark on command, have it bark anytime your neighbor gets too loud.
5. Practice an Instrument
Playing a musical instrument is very rewarding, even more so when you know it will annoy your noisy neighbor. If you don’t play but have always wanted to, what could be a better time to start?
Didgeridoo produces a loud, reverberating sound that is very unusual. Your neighbors can’t help but hear the noise and wonder if they’ve been transported to the Australian Outback.
Have you always wanted to rock the world with your guitar playing? Stop wasting time. Start now! Practicing with the amp turned up to the max can help you realize your dream and piss off your neighbor.
Why not form a band, especially if you can draft some other neighbors that are sick and tired of the noise-maker?
6. Play Loud Music or Sound Effects
With a good set of speakers, you can blast loud music or sound effects toward your neighbor’s home. You can place speakers high on the wall to annoy upstairs neighbors, on the floor for downstairs, and facing the wall for those next door. A weather-proof wireless speaker is great for annoying the house next door.
Is there a particular kind of music that your neighbor plays loudly? Blast the opposite kind right back at them, only louder. If they like rock, you can play country. If they enjoy gospel music, you can boom rap.
When their loud sex wakes you in the middle of the night, turn up the volume and play some sound effects that will turn off that loving feeling. I think fart sounds, which can be found online, will kill the mood pretty quickly.
For loud arguments, I suggest playing a bit from a laugh track in response to every screamed remark. You could play some roaring laughter right after your neighbor screams, “I never loved you!” You can currently buy some very annoying old laugh tracks available to download or on CD for shaming a shrieker. It might also work on people having loud sex.
7. Play Basketball
Dribbling a basketball and throwing the ball against the hoop’s backboard can provide endless hours of noise outside. Don’t worry about your skillset. The worse you are, the more practice it will take, and each time the ball misses the hoop and crashes against the backboard, you’re adding to an environment of annoying sounds.
Just imagine your neighbor’s displeasure when you invite friends over to enjoy a noisy game of hoops. Make sure to cheer for each other.
8. Exercise Loudly
Forget quiet and meditative exercise when you are seeking revenge on your obnoxious neighbor. Do it loud and earth-shaking.
Many years ago, my upstairs neighbor drove me crazy doing step aerobics late at night. The whole apartment seemed to shake. Jumping jacks and running in place are also excellent choices.
Be sure to enhance your ceiling-shaking exercises with loud music for the complete revenge sensation. Late night or early morning moves over a noisy downstairs neighbor can help you get fit and get even at the same time.
9. Have a Loud Party
You can host a loud party and invite all your other neighbors. Indoors or out, your unrepentant loud neighbor can’t help but see or hear everyone else at your over-the-top noisy party.
Turn up the music full blast and dance. Maybe you can host a karaoke or air guitar contest with the winner decided by applause level. In a good-sized yard, party-goers can play baseball, soccer, or volleyball. If you want to get back at downstairs neighbors, you can tell your guests to wear loud heels.
For the kids, you can rent a bounce house or an inflatable waterslide to enjoy outside. Inside, they can play Stomp the Balloon. Every child has a balloon tied to each ankle for this game, and they run around trying to stomp each other’s balloons. The last kid left with an unpopped balloon wins. The game is hilarious and noisy.
Just keep in mind, even if the purpose of this party is revenge, the most important thing is to have a good time.
10. Bang on the Ceiling, Wall, or Floor
Banging on the ceiling, wall, or floor is a tried and true method of letting your apartment or townhouse neighbor know they are too loud. People have probably been doing this since apartments and townhouses existed.
Most people time this strategically to annoy their neighbors at the height of their noise indiscretion. You can use a broom handle, a mop handle, or even a rubber mallet.
An invention called the NOISE Strike Back on Amazon by Yunshangwange replaces the tools mentioned above for banging on the ceiling and the floor. This ceiling thumper retaliates with noise and vibrations against either your upstairs or downstairs neighbors.
11. Stink It Up
Next time your neighbor has a noisy outdoor party, you can create a stink that will drive their guests away.
If you have a dog poop can, place the can next to the offending neighbor’s property with the lid removed for a real stench. If you don’t have a dog, clean up your neighborhood by picking up unclaimed dog poop. Then you can place it in a can for later use. The old open-dog-poop-can trick is very effective in hot weather.
Plantskydd Animal Repellent is a great gardening accessory that will create a massively foul odor for your neighbor’s next party. This product prevents herbivores, such as deer and rabbits, from damaging your garden, and I have had great success with it for years.
The only drawback is that it stinks to high heavens for the first 24 hours. Fortunately, you only have to spray it every two months to protect your garden, but you can use the repellent more often without harm.
Spray this product on your property near the area where your neighbor is hosting their yard party. The smell from Plantskydd is sure to make their guests leave early, but it won’t make them sick.
This animal repellent doesn’t even harm the birds and bees. It only frightens herbivores because it contains animal blood and smells like a predator made a kill in the area. The deer and rabbits can smell it long after the scent fades from the human nose. So Plantskydd is a great nontoxic product for the garden and revenge.
You may also like: Who Do I Call for a Noise Complaint?
Noisy neighbors can be an issue whether you live in an apartment, townhouse, or single-family home with a yard. Other people and their sounds surround you, and when their noise is consistently too loud, it can destroy your quality of life.
Once you decide their noise is a significant and continual disturbance, you should politely speak to your neighbor about the problem. Retaliation should be a last resort after exhausting every alternative and much consideration. And in case you have to deal with noise complaints, make sure you check out this article.
Getting back at noisy neighbors:
- Take your neighbor to small claims court
- Do noisy chores early in the morning
- Encourage your kids to be noisy
- Let your dog make noise
- Practice an instrument
- Play loud music or sound effects
- Play basketball
- Exercise loudly
- Have a loud party
- Bang on the ceiling, wall, or floor
- Stink it up